Jan 18-24
I really want to talk about something that has been bothering me. I don't usually write about serious things in this blog, but lately I have been thinking about these things. Maybe it is because of the people I observe on a daily basis. Maybe it is because the way that society has evolved. Maybe it is just my take on the way that kids are raised these days.
Jack at lunch
Well raised is a nice way of putting it. The way kids are ignored these days is a more honest observation. You see it everywhere. Kids crave the attention of their parents. They practically beg for it. When they don't get it they act out. It's not just at home but in schools. Teachers are strapped with double the load they had years ago. It is impossible to give the attention that they would like. In many families both parents work. They use this as an excuse. I think that it is a lame excuse. They are simply too lazy to pay attention to their kids when it is easier to stick them in front of a T.V., a computer, an iPad, a cell phone, video game, any kind of electronic device that alleviates the responsibility of the parent to actually interact with their child.
I am not an unrealistic person. I know people have to work. Trust me, I get that. We couldn't survive without a paycheck. We all have bills. We have to work. I know that in this house we have to work, we have always worked. The difference with us is that we have always been lucky enough to make it work. How do I explain this phenomenon? Okay so we both have always worked full time, and somehow manage to spend a reasonable amount of time with our children. Enough to avoid day care completely. The most "help" we have ever had in the past was a few hours a couple of days a week in our own home via private (awesome) sitters.
Jack taking a break from the bounce houses and playing with cars by himself.
Even that little bit of "outside" help has made me hyper aware of the time I spend with my children. I feel guilty sometimes about working full time, but in reality the time spent away from my kids is minimal compared to most. On the days (actually nights) I work I spend all day with the kids, we have dinner as a family, and as I am leaving the house Ed is giving the kids their baths...books and bed follow behind. When I get home from work they have been up for maybe an hour or two. Not too shabby right? I still feel guilty about it. I usually have to sleep for a few hours to be a functioning human being, but then I try to be full force and involved. I only work 3 days a week (full time for a nurse) yet I still feel that I don't spend enough time with the kids. This is one of the reasons I get so mad when people have a bunch of kids and then don't invest the time and effort to raise them.
As most of you know Ed is going back to school. We have been lucky so far and very rarely overlap a day when I need to sleep with a day that he goes to class. This means that 95% of the time when he goes to school I am off and therefore have plenty of time to spend with the kids (the few times we have overlapped, my mom has watched the kids). I try my best to fill our schedule with stimulating activities. Play groups, craft projects, games, fun play, educational adventures, etc. I don't believe in sitting around the house all day watching TV. I mix all of these things in with the other necessary evils like laundry, cleaning, organizing, etc. Lately I have been just waiting until after the kids go to bed to do the other things because I don't want to put Jack in front of a TV and Abel in his jumperoo just so I can pick up the house.
I strive to spend as much time as possible with my kids. Ed does the same. We both agree that we want our kids to be happy and that family will always come first. I think another thing that makes us different from most people these days is that we are married...happily...with kids (ourkids together). I know that everyone has different situations so I'm not knocking single parent families, blended families, or any other kinds of families. On the other hand I think that the incidence of all these situations has increased tremendously in the past 25 years and I truly believe that kids can be effected negatively.
"All Aboard!!!!!"
Kids need stability. Kids need consistency. Kids need rules. Kids need security. Most of all kids need love. You can't give kids the proper example of love if you don't have it yourselves. I think there is so much inconsistency these days. Kids worry about their parents splitting up, new families, new siblings, etc. That is too much for one kids to worry about. Mostly I am trying to talk about the parents who push their kids to the side. Dump their kids on everyone and anyone who will take them. I can't stand leaving my kids...unless it's the rare time I leave them with my mom or Ed's mom so that we can have some quality time. Trust me that is not neglecting my kids because they are getting just as much attention (if not more) from their grandmothers as we give them.
Jack ran into his buddy London at the Circus!
Mommy and Jack
The elephant parade!
I know that my kids probably get more attention than most, but I also hope that I still feel the guilt because it makes me strive to be a better parent. I'm kind of glad that we both work and that we make it a family effort to give our kids attention, thus keeping them out of day care. I couldn't be a 100% stay at home mom. I am selfish like that. I like to work. I like to get out of the house and help the less fortunate. Then when I am home I don't take my time for granted. I make every moment count.
He loved the show!
You have to get a toy at the circus!
So here is my thought for the week. I am so sick of seeing parents who ignore their kids. Who think their kids are a burden. Don't get me wrong. There are days when my kids drive me crazy and test my patience. These are the times I remind myself that I brought them into this world and it is my job to enjoy them, teach them, love them. They grow up so quickly. I can only put forth my best effort and hope that Ed and I can show them the kind of love they need to be wonderful, happy people. I look at them and marvel at how quickly they change. Jack talks now...really talks. He has opinions and independent thoughts. I love talking to him.
Hot dogs!
This week we took Jack to the circus. Ed and I figured he hasn't done anything with just the three of us in a long time so we figured he would enjoy this (my mom watched Abel for us). We got tickets to the circus and then took him out to lunch at one of his favorite places...Sandy's Hot Dogs. He had a blast! He has never been to the circus and his eyes got so wide when the music came on and everything started coming out...elephants, dancers, fire, clowns, etc. It was awesome! I was hoping to get amazing pictures, but they didn't allow camera's inside the facility. Too bad everyone has a camera on their phone these days and since everyone else was taking pictures I decided I should too.
Silly!
Love him!
:)
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