Week 126

Jul 27-Aug 2

We are in the home stretch! We have been super busy getting everything ready for the big move coming up next week! :) I am sooooo excited I can't stand it! I finished up my last week at work which was definitely bittersweet. When I made the transition from pediatrics to the ER last summer everything was so different than it is now. We had tons of staff and everyone was happy to work there. One of the things I liked the most was that everyone was a family and took care of each other. Many of us would go on play dates outside of work and invite each other to the kids' birthday parties. It was nice.

Suddenly in the past 6 months or so things have gone downhill. The new company made lots of cuts to staff. People started to get stressed out and quit. Now we have lost the majority of the staff and it's no longer enjoyable to go to work. There are a few people left and that is what made it bittersweet. I didn't want to leave them stranded. I'm sure by the end of this year they will all move on to bigger and better things. I wish everyone the best. I am sad to leave, but excited at the same time to get back into pediatrics. Everyone was so sweet on my last day. They got a cake and the sweetest card. I will miss all of my coworkers!!!

On another note I had what seemed like a million appointments this week. OB/GYN which went very well and everything is right on track. Endocrinologist. You all know how I feel about the endocrinologist. She was very nice and said I was doing everything right, following my diet, blah, blah...but she wants my morning sugars to be below 90 and they were running 92-96. She put me on an insulin called Lantus (a very low dose) at night to get my morning sugars down. Now I get to stick my fingers 8+ times a day and then shoot up my side with insulin at night. Not pleasant.

I really hate the whole gestational diabetes thing. I think this is a large part of why I hate being pregnant. It feels like when you are pregnant you already give up everything "fun" like drinking or working out. I can't tell you how much I want a cold beer and to be able to go running or do an Insanity workout. So the only thing that is left is an occasional splurge with your food. I can't even do that. I constantly worry about my sugars and everything that goes into my mouth. I wonder if I'm going to pay for it. I think a pregnant lady should be able to eat a slice of pie or a doughnut every once in awhile. I can't. At least without consequences and severe guilt.

This past week even when I was eating the correct diet my sugars were still running high because I got a cold from Jack and it made everything go even more out of whack. It is so frustrating. There is lots of pressure because the more uncontrolled my sugars are, the higher the likelihood of the baby's sugar "bottoming out" at birth like Jack's did. As most of you know this resulted in a 4 day NICU stay and an IV in his head. The whole "birth experience" sucked ass for me. It was the most stressful time of my life and I feel like if I can't control my sugars and the same thing happens to this baby then it is all my fault. It sucks. I just want the next few weeks to fly by and I can only pray that everything with my delivery goes smoothly.

The other appointment I had this week was the dentist for a cleaning. Jack also got to get his teeth checked out. One of his favorite shows is called "Peppa Pig" and we had recorded an episode where they went to the dentist. We watched it that afternoon before going and he was very excited to meet the dentist. They were super sweet and let him sit in the chair. He got to have his teeth counted and checked out by Dr Calderon. They gave him toothpaste, stickers, a new tooth brush, and even let him pick a prize out of the treasure chest. He was pretty stoked about the whole thing. Hopefully he will remember this when we take him to the dentist for his first real cleaning. Super cute!