Jan 26-Feb 1
So this post is about deployments or TDY's...whatever you want to call them. For you non-military friendly people TDY means "temporary deployment." AKA not at home. AKA single parenthood for me.
Anyways, now that you know how I feel about this I will launch into my full blown vent session because I am feeling sorry for myself today. Obviously Ed is not here. He had to go to Seattle, WA for an undisclosed amount of time for the military. I am all about military duty and serving your country...yadda, yadda, yadda, but I am so sick of it. Before we moved here Ed got deployed every 90 days for approximately 90 days out to sea. In for 3 months, out for 3 months, repeat.
It was AWFUL!!!!
BUT...we didn't have any kids yet so although it was awful it was doable. I just had to worry about going to work, paying the bills, and keeping up with the dog and the house. No biggie. It still sucked though. This is why we waited to have kids because we knew that coming here Ed would seldom have to be away from home.
As most of you know we are facing the decision soon...we will either stay in the Navy or get out. So many people are telling us we are crazy, Ed will have 10 years in, suck it up, collect a retirement. We WANT TO GET OUT!!! After this recent time with him gone...I am even more confident in our decision. It is awful!
Jack is a really good kid...but it is really because his life is so precisely balanced. We both work and he is very much used to both of us watching him. He is NOT happy that his dad is gone. He does NOT understand. He definitely does NOT like to Skype with his dad because in his mind it's just not the same. I have definitely witnessed some acting out the past couple of weeks that I have never seen before. He is not the same child.
I was even lucky enough to have my mom and grandma come over for a week to watch him while I went to work. He was good for them, but I have seen some little traits that I haven't ever seen before. For instance, he suddenly will grab a toy from you and scream, "MINE!" Which is quite a mystery in itself because he hasn't been around any other kids recently who have done this and obviously we have never told him to do this. Where did that come from??? It's like he suddenly is consumed by insecurity since his routine has been turned upside down. He is very defiant lately and wants to do the opposite of what you want him to do.
I CAN NOT WAIT for Daddy to get home! I am exhausted!!!!!!!!!! I don't know how single mothers can cope. I really don't know how my fellow military wives who deal with this on a regular basis can cope. You are a bigger person that I am. I suddenly can kind of understand why the divorce rate for Ed's job is >90%. Thank goodness Ed doesn't want to do the military thing again either because I don't think I could support that decision. I need my family back together soon! It definitely forces me to appreciate how much my husband does around here! He is a great husband and a great Dad...I am very, very lucky to have snagged him! :) For all you people telling us that money is more important and that we are crazy...I will just say this. No amount of money can compare to having a happy, healthy family that is TOGETHER!
Meanwhile...these are pictures of Jack at the zoo. We have tried to stay as busy as possible while daddy is away. Also I have been trying to do things to "tire" Jack out so he will take a nap. He now naps on average 2 times a week if I am lucky. Sigh.
PS-thank you to Mimi (my mom) and Gigi (my grandma) for coming to help me with everything for a week!!!!!!!! I couldn't have done it without you! Jack had a blast with you guys! :)
5 comments:
This is a great post. I don't think it's a venting session at all!
Gerard will have been gone for nearly four months by the time he comes home and the lion's share of that time has included zero communication between the two of us. Well, he was getting my emails periodically, but all of his were somehow lost in the transmission. We were able to Skype when he pulled in to Korea at Christmas, but that's it.
We're seriously considering him getting out, too, but also know that it would be far wiser for him to take shore duty and get us back south of the Mason-Dixon line! Then, however, he'll have more time in and the temptation will be to stick it out.
Ultimately, the money doesn't compare to being together. Love may not pay the bills, but it is what gets you through the tough times! I remember clearly when I got out, at 11 years, and everyone thought I was so foolish. Elizabeth, we haven't regretted it a single time. We knew it was the right decision for our family, despite losing about 60% of our income and transitioning to lots of rice and beans for dinner!
I am confident y'all will make the right decision - whatever that is - when the time comes. As my mother-in-law always reminds us, God didn't make y'all a family so you could spend your lives apart.
Be strong, girl! ;)
Aww...thank you so much for this comment Jen! It makes me happy that someone else can relate to our situation. We feel in our hearts that we are doing the right thing, but everyone seems to think we are insane. Oh well. Other people don't understand that I can totally live without cell phones, cable, (gulp) internet if I have to. It's really not a big deal. Life is so short and kids happiness comes from parents happiness. We will make it and everyone will see! :)
Yes, yes... and yes! We did without a lot - initially - but the rewards have been great. (No one in the house will touch a lentil bean, though - a few too many the first few months we were here!)
By the way, if you need po' folks recipes, I still have them in the recipe box! ;)
You have an adorable child:)
Post a Comment